Til Murder Do Us Part
by blackroxduh17
Summary: Add the following: An arranged marriage, a playboy husband, a badass wife, and an- you know what? Never mind. This is not going to end well.  Jasper/Bella, OOC
1. Chapter 1

**Twilight**

**Pairing: Jasper/Bella**

**Genre: Romance/Drama**

**Rating: M**

**Summary: Here's the recipe. Make sure to add the following. **

** arranged marriage.**

** 2.A playboy husband.**

** 3.A badass wife.**

** perverted best friends. **

** 5.A nosy sister.**

** 6.A psycho ex-girlfriend.**

** 7. Bitchy parents.**

**Now, what do you get?—You know what? Never mind. I don't want to know what you get. This will **_**not**_** end well. **

**Chapter 1**

My name is Isabella Marie Swan. But, I go by Bella. It's shorter and saves you time, doesn't it? Anyway, today's my birthday. I'm turning seventeen. Yay. Let me tell you a bit about my crazy life.

You see, one of my ancestors, John Pemberton, invented Coca-Cola. Yup. My family still owns it. We own the company. Because Coca-Cola is a very popular soft drink, the Swan family is pretty loaded.

I live in this big mansion type of house. It has four floors complete with the huge backyard, pool, hot tub, and that big gate in the front.

My parents, Charlie and Renee Swan are pretty eccentric. My dad is pretty young. Or at least he looks like it. He has brown hair and brown eyes. Sounds boring, right? But on my dad, somehow… it's not. My dad works down at the company. I don't even know what he does. I think he just wakes up in the morning, puts on a fancy suit, and goes to the company to watch the employees work. My mom has blonde hair and green eyes. She is _very _short. However, her big personality makes up for it. My mom is a hairstylist. She wears too bright clothes that don't match. Her hair color changes every week. This week, it's bubblegum pink. Yeah.

And me? Well, let's just say… I'm definitely my parent's child. I have Charlie's brown hair, down to my waist—I know, it's long, right? But I also have Renee's eyes. Their my pride and joy. While my mom's eyes are a dark green, mine are a light green, that almost appear transparent. I ususally accentuate their color with dark makeup around my eyes. I'm what most high school students would call 'punk'. My wardrobe consists of dark baggy pants and dark tank tops. When I'm feeling festive, I wear dark skinny jeans, with either a dark tank or a band tee.

I live in Forks, Washington. Forks is a really nice place to live. Neighborhoods are safe, and it rarely rains here. It's mostly sunny. Ever since the 'Coca-Cola Family' moved to Forks, 16 years ago, Forks has had increased population. It now stands at 17,389. Forks was a really big. It was almost half of Washington. However, everything is far away, so if you don't have a car, you're royally screwed over.

I skateboard. That's how I met my two best friends. Edward Cullen and Emmett McCarty. Oh, those guys. Edward has a _really_ light brown—sometimes confused with dark red—hair. He also has dark green eyes, like my mom. Edward wears mostly dark clothing—like myself. Emmett, has dark hair, like me, with blue eyes. Emmett's parents are hippies. Some of that rubbed off on him, so he tends to wear birght clothing. Like, I wouldn't be surprised if he came over to my house in blue pants. Yeah, yeah, most kids wear that nowadays, but not in Forks. The three of us are probably the most diverse out of anyone in Forks. Edward and Emmett are perverts, like you wouldn't believe. Anything with boobs and a vagina, these two will make crude remarks about. Unfortunately, at the beginning, since I hung out with them, I constantly felt as if… well, as if I were standing naked next to them. But, I got over that pretty quickly. Now, I actually laugh with them. Or I make my own remarks about them. While these guys are perverts, they're the best friends any person could ask for. Edward and Emmett are loyal and are always there when I need them. We usually spend all of our time at the skate park or at my house—that is when we're not in school.

Oh, the only bad thing in my life. School. How I wish all the schools in the world would burn down. Edward, Emmett, and I all go to the private school ten miles down, Edgar J. Halliwell Private High School. Most of the students just call it Halliwell. Unlike any other private school, Halliwell doesn't have a dress code. You could pretty much wear whatever the hell you want to wear.

Down at Halliwell, the three of us, (We like to call ourselves, The Terrible Threes—Tell your friends,) are constantly talked about at Halliwell. Halliwell is where most of the 'rich kids' go to. If you couldn't afford Halliwell, you went to the public school, which was just 6 miles from Halliwell. There were around 5,000 students at Halliwell.

That's pretty much my life. It's not very interesting, is it? Well, tha—

"Bella! Can you come down here, please?" My mother shouted up the stairs. My room was on the second floor. It was big, the size of an average family's living room. The walls were a dark blue. Except for one wall. One wall was blindingly white. This wall was where I wrote quotes that everyone in my life has ever said. Important quotes, things worth remembering. And it also had Emmett and Edward's signatures. I finally agreed to let them sign it after about 4 months of them pestering me.

"Coming, mom!" I shouted. I hopped off my queen sized bed—it had a canopy!—and started to get dressed. Yes, I was still lying in bed at 1 in the afternoon, give me a break—it's Saturday! I quickly took off my tank top, now clad in only my bra and underwear—for some reason, I can't sleep with pants on—and proceeded to walk into my closet. I grabbed my army pants, quickly putting them on, along with a white tank top and my black converse. I put on some black eyeliner, not bothering at all with my hair. It was naturally wavy. On my way out, I grabbed my skateboard, because I was supposed to go meet Edward and Emmett down at the skate park. I walked out of my room, locking it behind me, and slipping the keys into the pocket down by my knee. I walked down the long hallway, finally reaching the stairs. Instead of walking down the stairs, like a normal person, I hopped on the banister, sliding down it, skateboard in hand. My mom was at the bottom of the stairs, staring at me with a frown upon her face.

"You know I don't like you coming down the stairs like that, Bella. You could fall off, and land in the hospital. And lord knows you're in there enough already." Renee said, referring to my many skateboarding incidents. But it was okay! Edward's dad, the doctor down at the hospital, took good care of me.

"Yeah, yeah, mom. What did you need, I'm supposed to be skate park… 10 minutes ago." I said, looking at my watch.

"Right. Because that's so important. Anyway, I just wanted to say, be home early tonight. Like at around… six, okay? We're having company over." Renee said, looking a little nervous as she spoke.

"Okay. Fine, I will. Hey, aren't you supposed to be at work?" I asked. Usually on Saturdays, mom's salon was bursting with clients.

"Well, because of the guests, I left it closed today. You know, so I would have time to tidy up around the house." Renee said.

"That's what the maids are for, mom." I said, rolling my eyes.

"Don't give me lip, Bella." My mom said, staring amusedly at me. I smirked at her.

"Well, I better get going. Ed and Em are probably pissed I'm late again." I said, walking towards the front door.

"Tell Edward and Emmett I said 'Hello'" My mom shouted after me. I grunted and waved my hand. For some weird reason, my mom loved Edward and Emmett. In her eyes, they were nice, sweet little boys. Ha! They loved her back, though. They even called her 'mom' sometimes. That was because they were here most of the time. Edward and Emmett even had their own rooms at my house! But they rarely used it, choosing to sleep in my room, whenever they slept over. My parents were okay with it, since we had been best friends for 12 years—ever since first grade. I also called, Carlisle and Esme Cullen, and Marcus and Jane McCarty my second set of parents. All our parents were pretty good friends.

I skateboarded down the street, arriving to the skate park in 10 short minutes. Before, the only skate park near my house was 40 minutes away, on skateboard, so I asked my parents to build a skate park closer to my house. And voila, Bella was happy. I mean, I could've easily taken my car—a Mercedes GL 2010 SUV—down, but how uncool is it to _drive _to a _skate park_? Not cool, at all, I tell you.

I looked around the park. There was a mini half pipe, for kids or beginners. There was a also a big half pipe ramp. I headed over there, looking for Edward and Emmett.

"Bells, over here!" I heard Emmett shout. I looked around searching for them. I finally spotted them on a bench nearby, checking out two girls that clearly did not belong here. They were wearing short skirts, and tank tops. I rolled my eyes and proceeded to head over to them. I passed by the girls, snorting, and proceeded to smack Edward and Emmett on the back of their heads.

"Ow!" They each whined simoultaneously.

"Stop checking them out! They're gross." I sighed, sitting next to Emmett, who was wearing green pants and a dark tee shirt.

"So? I'd so do the short one, look at that ass!" Edward grinned, smacking Em on the shoulder. I fingered Em's green pants.

"Nice pants, Em. Your hippie is showing." I said, leaning on his shoulder.

"Yeah, well. I picked the first thing from my floor. I noticed the pants were green… and I was going to do something about that, but then I was like, 'nah'. But I remembered you, so I also picked my green converse, see?" Em said, pointing to his lime green converse. I laughed and kissed him on the cheek. I loved Emmett. He was just so laidback.

"Dude, why are we talking about green pants, when there are hot girls over there?" Edward said, glaring at us.

"I don't know why you're talking about them, when you have a hot girl, right here." I said, pointing to me.

"Well, yeah. But I already fucked you." Edward said, spinning the wheel on his skateboard.

"Chyeah. Ditto." Emmett said, slinging an arm over my shoulder. I rolled my eyes.

"You guys will never let me forget that, will you?" I sighed. Ed and Em were speaking of one night around 8 months where I was super smashed, and headed over to Edward's house and fucked him. But that wasn't all. After that, I left and went to Emmett's… then fucked him too.

"Nope." They both replied. I rolled my eyes at them.

"You know, that night, I was drunk. You weren't. So what was your excuse?" I asked, standing up, dropping my board.

"You're hot, Bella." They replied again. I smacked their shoulders. The next day, we had all talked, agreed that there were no feelings, and went on with our normal lives.

"Whatever. Are you gonna skate, or stay here, checking out them girls—and before you say anything, that was not a question in which you choose the answer. You're skating. Let's go." I said, hauling their lazy asses over the half pipe.

* * *

A while later, I got down from the ramp, heading over to where Edward hadd shed his hoodie, where my phone was. I took out my sidekick, flipping it and grinning when I saw my background. It was a picture of all three of us. I was in the middle, winking, with my tongue hanging out the side. Emmett was on the left, his eyes were wide open and his cheeks puffed out, making him look like a fish. Edward was looking directly at the camera, a sultry look on his face, he was biting his index finger. I laughed lightly, frowning when I saw I had 8 missed calls. They were all from my mom. I looked at the time, shit! It was already seven! I told Renee that I'd be home by six! I groaned and grabbed Ed's hoodie, my board. I ran over to the ramp.

"Guys! Let's get going! I'm late!" I shouted up at them. They walked over to me.

"Late for what?" Ed asked.

"I don't know! But I'm late for it! Let's get a move on!" I shouted at them.

"Woah, chillax, dude." Em murmured to me. I ran, dropping my board and hopping on it.

* * *

We finally arrived at my house. The gate opened, and I turned back to Ed and Em.

"Let's go through the back, so my mom doesn't see me." We sneaked through the back. We were walking by the pool and I was aware that Ed and Em were whispering behind me. Suddenly, Edward grabbed his hoodie and my phone, and Emmett pushed me into the pool. I fell in, making a big splash. I resurfaced, sputtering and glaring at them. They were both laughing their asses off. I got out of the pool, intent on killing them, but they started running. They ran around the whole house, stopping at the front door, opening the door quickly and going in. I pushed open the door, it made a large bang as it hit the wall.

"_I will kill you both you fucktards! Where are you?" _I shouted, loud enough that I was pretty sure China heard me. I walked into the living room, where my parents were seated. They looked pretty surprised.

"Bella, dear, what happened?" My mom asked in a motherly tone.

"Edward and Emmett pushed me in the pool!" I replied, wringing my tank out. It rode up a little. My army pants were drooping, showing off my boyshorts a little. I was dripping wet.

"Well, why don't you go upstairs and change, honey? Then we can introduce you to our guests," Renee said, pointing to some people on the couch opposite theirs. I was too lazy and angry to look.

"Yeah, whatever." I replied, going upstairs, on the lookout for those jerks.

* * *

**YEAH YEAH, shut up. I knoow im horrible. But I deleted my edward/Bella story (cuz I just didn't like it) and posted this one. It's my take on if Bella and Jasper had an arranged marriage, you know? Leave a review and let me know if I should just delete it right away.**

**-Katherine**


	2. Chapter 2

**Twilight**

**Pairing: Jasper/Bella**

**Genre: Romance/Drama**

**Rating: M**

**Summary: Here's the recipe. Make sure to add the following.**

**1, An arranged marriage.**

**2.A playboy husband.**

**3.A badass wife.**

**4. Perverted best friends.**

**5.A nosy sister.**

**6.A psycho ex-girlfriend.**

**7. Bitchy parents.**

**Now, what do you get?—You know what? Never mind. I don't want to know what you get. This will**_**not**_**end well.**

**Chapter 2**

_We finally arrived at my house. The gate opened, and I turned back to Ed and Em._

_"Let's go through the back, so my mom doesn't see me." We sneaked through the back. We were walking by the pool and I was aware that Ed and Em were whispering behind me. Suddenly, Edward grabbed his hoodie and my phone, and Emmett pushed me into the pool. I fell in, making a big splash. I resurfaced, sputtering and glaring at them. They were both laughing their asses off. I got out of the pool, intent on killing them, but they started running. They ran around the whole house, stopping at the front door, opening the door quickly and going in. I pushed open the door, it made a large bang as it hit the wall._

_"_I will kill you both you fucktards! Where are you?" _I shouted, loud enough that I was pretty sure China heard me. I walked into the living room, where my parents were seated. They looked pretty surprised._

_"Bella, dear, what happened?" My mom asked in a motherly tone._

_"Edward and Emmett pushed me in the pool!" I replied, wringing my tank out. It rode up a little. My army pants were drooping, showing off my boyshorts a little. I was dripping wet._

_"Well, why don't you go upstairs and change, honey? Then we can introduce you to our guests," Renee said, pointing to some people on the couch opposite theirs. I was too lazy and angry to look._

_"Yeah, whatever." I replied, going upstairs, on the lookout for those jerks._

_

* * *

_

I headed up the stairs, keeping an eye out for the assholes. Gosh, I can't believe I said all those nice things about them earlier. I take them back! I grabbed my keys out of my (soaking wet!) army pants, inserting them in the key hole thingy and opening the door, locking it behind me. No way were those assholes coming in here.

I was taking off my pants, cringing when it stuck to my skin, when my phone buzzed with a text. I walked over and slid it open, noticing it was from my mom. I marvelled at the fact that my mom knew how to text.

_**Wear something nice. And hurry up, already. **_

Well, okay then. I pried off my tank top and bra, and underwear. I was now completely naked. Just how I liked it. Yeah…

I walked into my closet, going over to the 'Impress people' side. I picked out some nice dark distressed skinny jeans, and black boy shorts. I put them both on, hurriedly, because the faster I went down there, the faster the guests were going to leave.

I also picked out a dark tank top, that said 'Do I look like a fucking people person?' In big white letters. I smiled. It was one of my favorite shirts. I put on a dark bra and then the shirt. I walked out of my closet, picking up my black combat boots on the way. I put them on quickly. My phone buzzed again.

_**If you don't come down in the next 5 minutes, I'm coming up there.**_

My stomach growled quietly. I went into the bathroom, putting on heavy dark eyeliner. I walked out of the bathroom, and my room. I was just locking the door, when I heard a scuffling sound from Emmett's room. I froze immediately, and just listened. I heard the scuffling sound again. I smirked as an idea came to my head. I sighed heavily, and walked over to the stairs, loudly. I then stood in place, stomping my feet louder at first, then quieter, so it seemed as if I was walking down the stairs.

Then, I hid behind a little table that was in the hallway, that was just for show. I tried to hold my breath, as the door opened and out walked the assholes. They walked quietly to the top of the stairs, stopping just before the first step. I quietly got on my hands and knees, crawling slowly to them.

"You think she's gonna try to get us back?" Emmett whispered.

"She wouldn't be Bella if she didn't." Edward responded just as quietly. Em snorted and nodded.

"Okay, we have to sneak out of here." Em said, stating the obvious.

"Well, duh! We can go out through the kitchen door." Edward was already plotting. I was now right behind them. I thanked my lucky stars that neither of them turned around suddenly. I got up off the floor, quietly dusting my hands off on my jeans.

"No, because, the kitchen door slams hard, you know that." Emmett told Edward. I reached forward, grabbing each of their underpants. They both let out a girlie squeak, before freezing up in fright.

"And that would've been a very great plan to sneak out, boys… If I weren't right behind you." With that said, I heaved my hands up as high as they could go. Ed and Em both let out great cries of surprise—and pain (I'm sure)—while I cackled maniacally behind them. Then my mom appeared at the foot of the stairs, looking surprised. She glared when she saw what I was doing. I shrugged innocently and let go. Both of them slumped to the ground. I stepped around them and began walking down the stairs. I smirked as I descended the stairs. My mom frowned at me. I could hear Ed and Em scrambling around and walking down the stairs.

They walked over to me and sat down on either side of me on the couch. I kept my eyes on my lap. I didn't want to look up and see my mom giving me the stink eye. Someone coughed.

"Don't worry, I'm okay." Em told me. I rolled my eyes, putting my feet up on the table.

"Speak for yourself, I can't feel my balls, man!" Edward wailed. Em and I snickered to ourselves. Then my mom was in front of us with two frozen bags of peas. She handed one to Em and the other to Ed. I laughed at the sigh that Edward made when he put the peas in his lap.

"Thanks, Mom. You know Bella gives wicked wedgies." Em told my mom. I laughed quietly and looked up, stopping when my mom glared at me. Then she moved to the side, and I finally saw them, the guests.

There was a blonde man, who was very tall. I'm guessing he was the father. He had light brown eyes, that sparkled. His lips were full and he was very, very, _very,_ handsome. Next to him was a short woman with blonde hair and the bluest eyes I'd ever seen. She was around my mom's height, and was bouncing in the seat. I could already tell that my mom and her were going to get along fabulously. Seated next to the woman was a short girl, with brown hair and brown eyes. She was glaring at me. I had no idea why. Eh, whatever. Next to the glaring girl was a freakin' model. Her blonde hair went down to the middle of her back and she seemed to have the short woman's eyes. And next to the model was…

Well damn.

_Whoa._

A guy, who looked to be about my age was lounging on the couch. He was slouched, his legs wide open. He had wavy skater hair that covered his eyes, giving him an air of mystery. His eyes, although I couldn't really see because of his hair were the most beautiful sapphire blue eyes I had ever seen in the entire world. His lips were red, as if he had just licked them, or had an intense make out session with some lucky chick. My eyes trailed down his body. He was wearing a black shirt that hugged his chest quite snugly, and a dark grey button up over that. Paired with that, he was wearing dark blue jeans and grey converse. He was looking to the side, an arm under his chin as if he were fighting to stay awake, and I figured he was, because this was just awkward. Ed and Em were oblivious to the situation and were playing with the peas.

"Okay! Bella, why don't you introduce yourself and your friends, hm?" My mom asked me, a little widly. I guess the silence was getting to her too.

"Um, okay? I'm Bella, these are my two best friends, Edward and Emmett." I said in a monotone, pointing to Ed and Em when I spoke their names.

"Okay. I'm Peter Whitlock.—" The man, the father, said. He gestured to the small woman sitting next to him.

"—This is my wife, Charlotte and our kids Rosalie and Jasper—" At this point, he gestured to the model and Mr. Hottie slouching on the couch. I noticed he didn't introduce the brown haired girl as his daughter. Who the hell was she? And why was she _still_ glaring at me!

"—This is Alice Brandon, a daughter of a good friend of ours." Peter finished his spiel and I smiled politely at him.

"Okay. So, this is nice, huh? You know, all of us here… together… sitting down… having a nice little chat… like we're old friends… Hehe…" My mom trailed off after her little awkward speech.

"Yes, honey. Why don't we get on to talk about the situation, shall we?" My dad asked formally. I squinted at my mom who was fidgeting. Renee never fidgets.

"No! How about we have a nice little snack first?" She asked, grabbing my dad's arm and digging her nails in. I noticed my dad wince a little.

"I don't get it, what situation?" I asked, clueless. What the hell was going on here? My parents weren't this formal and awkward with their guests. This time it was my mom who winced a little.

"Dude, your parents are like buggin' out." Em whispered to me. I whacked his arm.

" I know!" I hissed. Now I was really curious. I noticed Peter and Charlotte were looking at me, kind of surprised. I looked back at them, my confusion evident on my face.

"You don't know?" Peter asked me. I rolled my eyes and sighed, causing my bangs to lift out of my eyes and fall back down.

"I think it's evident that I _don't_ know what the hell is going on in here. What the hell is going on here?" I was past confused and onto irritated and frustrated.

"You haven't told her?" Charlotte spoke. Her voice was low and sultry, innocent. She was adorable! (I balked a little at calling a grown woman with 2 kids '_adorable'_, but never mind that.)

"No…" Renee looked down at her lap.

"_Told me what?_" I asked, slapping my hands on my thighs.

"Let me tell her. I know how to do it, build up to it slowly." My mom told my dad. I sighed angrily.

"No, it should be like ripping off a band aid, you know, fast." Charlie told Renee. And then they were arguing about how to tell me whatever it was they were going to tell me. After 2 minutes of arguing, I stood up, pulling Ed and Em with me.

"Okay, when you two are done, you can come up to my room and tell me." I said.

"Bella, sit down." Charlie said sternly. I muttered under my breath and sat down. Ed and Em with me.

"Okay, Bella, I'm going to say this very quickly…" My mom began and trailed off. I waited for her to finish. So did the Whitlocks. Peter and Charlotte were smirking. Alice was glaring at me. Rosalie was on her phone and Jasper was looking bored and a little annoyed. Well, so was I , buddy, so was I. Then Charlie sighed and turned to me.

"Bella, you're getting married to Jasper in less than a month." Charlie said quickly. It was dead silent for about 20 seconds. Then Edward and Emmett abruptly stood up.

"Well, that's our cue to get going." Edward said.

"Yeah, call us later, Bells." Emmett said, before they both bent down and kissed me on either side of my cheeks. Then they picked up their skateboards and bolted. I heard the front door being shut. I noticed that the Whitlocks were all smirking. Rosalie had put away her phone and was looking interested. Jasper, too, looked a bit interested. Alice was glaring even harder at me.

"Ha. Okay, really, what's the big news?" I asked, smirking. My mom fidgeted a little more.

"That is the big news. Listen, sweetheart, many years ago your grandfather made a deal with.. Grandpa Whitlock that their granddaughter and grandson would get married, so that the Whitlocks could have their share of the company." Renee said awkwardly.

"Seriously, that's not funny, guys. Why don't you all just make idle chit chat while I go hang out in my room." I stood up, stopping when I heard the sexiest bedroom voice, I marvelled at the tone before actually listening to the words.

"It's not a fucking joke. Stop being a stubborn bitch and just accept that fact." Jasper muttered, loud enough for all of us to hear him. Charlotte reached over Alice and Rosalie and smacked Jasper. I could feel anger building up… like a fart.

"Excuse me? Who the fuck do you think you are?" I hissed in a deadly hushed tone. The hair on my neck was standing up and my fists were clenched. Charlie was standing up, to grab me before anything happened. Renee was sitting down, back completely straight, her face ashen.

"I think I'm Jasper Whitlock and I'm tired of you making a fool out of yourself." He stood up, also.

"Oh,really? Making a fool out of myself. You know what I think? I think I'm gonna beat you to death with my fists." I said, rushing forward. Charlie rushed forward, grabbing my arm.

"Whatever." He sighed.

"Jasper, shut up!" Charlotte and Peter hissed. Alice was now smirking at me.

"I'm pretty sure that when you found out, you reacted like me. Didn't he?" I asked Rosalie. She stood up and smiled at me.

"He threw around a few things, too." She said. I nodded thoughtfully.

"Okay then." I wrenched myself out of my dad's grip, walked forward and pushed the coffee table to the side. The cups on it crashed to the floor, glass shattering everywhere.

"Bella—" My mom stood up. I shook my head at her, my hair flying around me.

"No! Fuck you, both! And fuck you, Jasper Whitlock!" I shouted at them. I walked to the door, glass shattering under my combat boots.

"Bella—"

"I'm heading over to either the McCarteys' or the Cullens'. And hey, maybe I'll stay with them forever. Wanna know why? _Because they aren't making me get married to some stranger asshole!"_ I grabbed my board and walked out the front door, the door slamming shut so hard,

I'm pretty sure it was vibrating.

* * *

**SURPRISE!**

**REVIEW!**

**-Katherine**


	3. Chapter 3

**Twilight**

**Pairing: Jasper/Bella**

**Genre: Romance/Drama**

**Rating: M**

**Summary: Here's the recipe. Make sure to add the following.**

**1. An Arranged marriage.**

**2. A playboy husband.**

**3. A badass wife.**

**4. Perverted best friends.**

**5. A nosy sister.**

**6. A psycho ex-girlfriend.**

**7. Bitchy parents.**

**Now, what do you get?—you know what? Never mind. I don't want to know what you get. This will**_**not**_**end well.**

**Chapter 3**

"_No! Fuck you, both! And fuck you, Jasper Whitlock!" I shouted at them. I walked to the door, glass shattering under my combat boots. _

"_Bella—"_

"_I'm heading over to either the McCarteys' or the Cullens'. And hey, maybe I'll stay with them forever. Wanna know why? Because they aren't making me get married to some stranger asshole!" I grabbed my board and walked out the front door, the door slamming shut so hard, I'm pretty sure it was vibrating._

_

* * *

_

"Wait, they said you have to do _what_?" Asked Edward for the 4th time. I glared at him and he raised his hands up as if to say '_Hey, I'm not the one making you do this shit.'_ Nevertheless, I still glared at him.

I had gone over to the Cullen house after my outburst at _Casa De Swan_. Esme Cullen had opened the door and immediately noticed that something was wrong, so she was making me chocolate chip cookies downstairs… I loved Esme. It was my luck that Emmett had come home with Edward instead of going to his own house, so I wouldn't have to repeat this horrible story twice.

"Wait, so are they for real?" Asked Em. I turned my glare on him.

"Do you think I would be here right now telling you this story if they weren't for real, Emmett?" I asked him, my glare icy. He shrugged and looked away.

"So what's going to happen then, Bells?" Edward asked. I raised my hands over my head and fell back onto the bed. I sighed loudly, grinning inwardly when Ed and Em positioned themselves around me so that Em's head was on my stomach and Edward's head was on my legs. I raised a hand and ran it through Emmett's soft hair. He closed his eyes under my touch.

"I don't know. Hey, guys, can I live with you until college?" I asked.

"Sure!" They replied happily. I laughed and then shook my head—this wasn't a possibility. Esme walked in just as I was about to thump Emmett's forehead. She raised an eyebrow at me when she saw what I was about to do, I quickly put my hand down and smiled innocently, even fluttering my eyes a little bit. She laughed at my antics. She walked over to the bed and set down the chocolate chip cookies on the dresser, grabbing one, and sitting on the bed next to all of us. She spent 2 minutes just running her hand through our hair.

"Okay, what's up, Bella?" Something about all of our parents, they didn't act their age around us. I think we brought out their inner teen or something.

"Did you know, Esme, my parents are saying that I have to get married to this douche of a guy?" I asked her, she looked surprised for a second before sighing.

"Truthfully, Bella, I did know." She said, bowing her head so that her caramel colored hair fell I front of her face. My mouth fell open and I felt Edward sitting up.

"Mom?" He said, sounding quite cross.

"I'm sorry! I was sworn to secrecy! I didn't think they were going to tell you this early! They were supposed to tell you when you turned 21, Bella." Esme mumbled into her hair. I sighed and looked away.

"That's okay, Esme. _You're_ not the one making me do this stupid thing." The way I said that made it clear that I did blame someone. Esme stood up and leaned down to kiss our cheeks.

"I really am sorry you have to go through this, dear." She said before she walked out, shutting the door behind her. I rolled over on the bed, laying down on my stomach, Emmett repositioned himself so that his head was now laying on my ass. He turned around and poked my butt a few times. I squirmed and giggled a little.

"What the hell are you doing, Em?" I asked, still giggling. He continued poking my butt for a few seconds before he stopped and lay back down.

"I was fluffing up my pillow." He said.

I fell asleep still giggling.

* * *

Someone was shaking my shoulder. Someone was going to lose their arm.

"Bella… Bella… dear…" I groaned and buried my head deeper into the pillow.

"Mmphfhg..." I mumbled. Yeah, because _that_ was proper English. I lifted my head and blearily looked up at a blob. The blob morphed until it became Esme.

"Esme, what time is it?" I mumbled rubbing the sleep put of my eyes. I could hear Emmett snoring from the floor—either he fell off or I kicked him off. Edward was snoring behind me.

"It's after 2. I only came to tell you that your parents insisted in coming to pick you up, no matter how much I told them not to." Esme said, stifling a yawn behind her palm. She was in her robe and her hair was mussed.

"Yeah, okay." I said before rolling back onto the bed. Esme shook my shoulder again.

"Bella…."

"Dear God, Esme, what?" I asked, groaning. Esme snorted before pulling on my arm.

"They'll be here in 5 minutes. Come on, let's get you downstairs." She said. Esme walked me down to the front door, where Renee's jeep was already. I climbed into the passenger seat and leaned back into the chair, immediately falling asleep.

* * *

"C'mon, man. I cannot believe I got roped into this. Can you wake the fuck up?" Whoever was talking was blowing air into my ear with every word they spoke. I giggled and shied away from them.

"Yo, drama queen, wake up!" They said. I opened my eyes—seriously what was with people and waking me up?—and looked into the deep blue eyes of Jasper Whitlock. I blinked a couple of times before I narrowed my eyes at him, but that took too much work so I just closed my eyes again and leaned back into the passenger seat.

"What do you want?" I sort of mumbled. I heard a long intake of air and a loud exhale.

"I want you to get out of the car so I can close it and we can go into the house and I can go sleep, that's what I want." He said, sounding like he was speaking through his teeth.

"Okay." I said.

"Okay? Okay? What does _okay _mean?" His voice was getting louder.

"Okay means… okay." I mumbled, confused by his question.

"I cannot believe I am carrying you… you of all people." Jasper muttered under his breath. I felt him put his arm under my knees and the other around my shoulders, he grunted a little trying to take me out of the car. Never mind the fact that with just that little grunt I imagined 273 different ways of Jasper… ahem.

"Whoa, there. Just what do you think you're doing? You have to take me on a date first… well not really, carry on." I said, giggling. I could almost hear Jasper rolling his eyes. What was surprising was the little chuckle I heard from him. I leaned my head into the crook between his neck and shoulder and I immediately fell asleep… again.

* * *

I looked around and realized I was in my comfy bed, and I was in _clothes._ Gasp. I usually didn't sleep with clothes on, it was extremely uncomfortable… I must've been really tired last night, I concluded. I sat up in my bed and proceeded to take off my pants. I then started with my shirt.

"Not that—"Here I gave a girlish squeal, "—I don't like the view, but why are you taking off your clothes?" I heard none other than Jasper Whitlock mutter. I turned around and noticed him on _my _bed and on _my _pillow with a devil-may-care smirk and his hands behind his head, looking the epitome of relaxed. My eyes narrowed dangerously as I lifted the sheets to hide myself from Jasper's probing eyes—although I did get a thrill from the fact that he was checking me out, but never mind that stupid, unimportant, useless, little fact.

"What the hell—no, wait, that's too meek—what the _fuck_ are you doing in _my_ room, on _my _bed, and on _my _pillow?" I pretty much shrieked. To my intense pleasure, he flinched a little.

"Our parents thought it would be a good idea for us to share a room since we're, you know, getting married." Jasper said, shrugging. I gaped at him for approximately 2 minutes before I threw the covers off of me and I stomped to the door—feeling Jasper's eyes on me—and I opened the door, slamming it behind me forcefully.

"_MOTHER! FATHER!" _I shouted at the top of my lungs. Yeah, that's right, bitches, Bella Swan was not a happy camper right now. I stomped down the stairs, obnoxiously, and headed to the family room, where I hoped they would be. As luck would have it, they were… along with Peter, Charlotte, Rosalie, and Alice… and I was in my underwear…fun…

"Bella! What are you doing coming downstairs like that?" Charlie said, looking appalled. Yeah, you look appalled.

"Well, father, I was just in my room, and I was taking off my clothes, when I realize that I wasn't alone… Whatever gave you the idea that Jasper and I sharing a room was _okay_?" I asked sweetly.

"_What_? He's sharing a room with _her_?" Alice stood up and yelled, looking furious.

"Yes, they are, Alice. We thought it would be a good idea since they are getting married… It's kind of like practice." Charlotte spoke in her melodic tone. I shook my head and groaned.

"Well, newsflash! It's the worst idea in the history of bad ideas! If I have to be in a tiny place with that idiot, I'll end up killing him! Or he'll kill me! Don't you know the saying? Don't sleep with your enemy? That's why!" I wailed, raising my arms above my head. I heard footsteps behind me and turned around to see Jasper…. In his boxers… and _nothing else_. I quickly turned around so I wouldn't get caught ogling the jerk.

"Yeah, as much as I hate to say this… I agree with the drama queen." He said. I turned around to face him and glare.

"Who are you calling a drama queen, you ass!" I yelled angrily at him. He raised an eyebrow at me and pointed with his finger, right at me.

"I believe I was calling you a drama queen." He said nonchalantly. My eye twitched.

"I can't deal with this!" I yelled at the ceiling.

"See? That was drama queen-ish." Jasper said. I looked at him… and I pounced. We both fell, him getting the brunt of the fall and I straddled him and wrapped my hands around his neck, trying to choke him. I heard commotion behind me but I was focused on choking this dick. His hands were on my waist, trying to pry me off him. Somewhere in the dark parts of my head, I realized that I was in my underwear and he was in his boxers and there was so much skin touching and I was straddling him…

"**DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE! DIE!**" I kept shouting at him. His eyes were bugging out, and there was a smirk on his face. Why was he smirking if I was killing him? I felt hands trying to pry me off, but my leg flew out and kicked whoever it was. I then continued the murder. _Muahaha_, I cackled in my mind. I was gleefully smiling. Jasper's hands went from my waist to my stomach, still trying to push me off. Then, one hand went up further… and squeezed a boob. One of _my_ boobs, that is. I was so shocked, I went slack. Jasper took the opportunity to push me off him, and he stood up, rubbing his neck which was pink. I stood up, also.

"You grabbed my boob!" I shouted at him. Behind him I could see Alice fuming, Rosalie and Charlotte laughing, my father glaring at me, and my mother tending to Peter, who was rubbing his side.

"That's because, oh, I don't know, you were trying to choke me!" He shouted back at me. I turned my attention back to him and glared some more.

"You deserved it." I said, shrugging my shoulders and crossing my arms. Jasper's mouth dropped and he glared back.

"You're crazy!" He said.

"And you're a dick!" I shouted at him. We would've continued arguing but my mother, who finished tending to Peter, butted in.

"Jasper, dear, are you all right?" She asked, sending me a nasty glare.

"Yes, Mrs. Swan. Physically, I'm fine… mentally… I'll never forget that crazed look on your daughter's face…" He said, shuddering. I scoffed at his pitiful excuse for acting, Renee shot me another nasty glare,

"Well, come with me, we'll put something on your neck so the pinkness will fade." She said. Jasper nodded his head and followed her. Peter walked over to me.

"May I help you?" I snootily asked. He smirked, looking like his son when he did so.

"I didn't realize you had such a temper," He said, chuckling. I turned to fully face him.

"I don't. Your son is just… " I didn't finish my sentence.

"Yeah, he brings violent tendencies out from most people." Peter said. This time, I smirked.

"Even you?" I asked, smirking at him. Peter turned to look at me, smirking.

"You have no idea how long I've wanted to see someone do that!" He said, his eyes twinkling. I laughed and a second later Peter joined in.

"So what up with your side?" I asked. He laughed and shook his head.

"I was enjoying a good laugh at Jasper's expense, but then Charlotte told me to get you off of him, so I tried… and you kicked me. You reminded me of a horse because, man you kick hard!" He said, rubbing his side again. I laughed and shook my head.

"Sorry, I was just trying to kill your son."

"Oh, no worries, I'm all good." Peter said.

"_Isabella Marie Swan,_" Charlie practically hissed at me.

"Yes?" I asked.

"Go to your room, right now." He snarled at me. I sighed and turned around to walk to the stairs.

"Yeah, that's right, to your room." I heard the nasal voice of Alice. I turned my head around slowly, I'm pretty sure I looked like a monster.

"You better be careful, or you'll be next." I warned her.

* * *

"Yes, Emmett, I tried to choke him." I said into my phone. I was on a conference call with both Edward and Emmett, telling them what went down today.

"_Dude, I can't believe you did that! Man, I would've loved to be there, taking a video."_ Edward was chuckling into the phone. I laughed for a little while with them before I went back to the problem at hand.

"Okay, enough laughing. Tell me what to do, guys." I wailed into the phone.

"_Well, all you have to do, Bella, is at night, either you go to a guest room or he goes."_ Em said. I removed my phone from my ear and stared at it. Then I put it back to my ear.

"You're right, why the hell didn't I think of that?" I muttered.

"_Because you're nowhere near as smart as me,_" Em said, chuckling. I laughed and leaned back on the bed. I was dressed in a pair of black shorts and a black tank top.

"Shut up, Em." I smirked.

* * *

Hours later, I was still on the phone when my door opened an in walked the devil himself. I sat up in my bed.

"Guys, I'll call you back, bye." With that, I shut off the phone, not even waiting for a confirmation from either of them. Jasper walked further into the room, shutting the door behind him. He walked over to my desk and plucked an Apple laptop that I hadn't noticed there before. He then calmly walked over to the bed, and got on the other side, kicking off his shoes and placing the laptop on his thighs. His back was against the pillows, and he turned the laptop on, all without paying me any attention. I closed my eyes, groaned, and flung myself back onto the bed.

"What?" He asked nonchalantly.

"Get out." I said flatly.

"No, I'm good, thanks." I could hear the smirk in his voice. I sat up, leaning on my elbows and glared at him.

"Don't make me choke you again." I threatened. He shrugged.

"Yeah, whatever."

"So… I have an idea. How about tonight, instead of you sleeping in here, you sleep in one of the guest rooms." I said, smiling brightly at him. He turned to face me.

"Do you honestly think, that of that was a possibility, I would've slept in here last night?" He uttered darkly. I sat up fully, now paying him my utmost attention.

"What do you mean?"I asked.

"I mean, your parents locked up every room in the entire house." Jasper said, before going back to his laptop. He opened up Safari on it. I gaped at him for a few seconds before flinging myself back onto the bed.

"This cannot get any worse."

* * *

So I was walking downstairs with Jasper. Renee had just called us down for dinner, and I really had no choice because I was fucking starving. We both walked into the dining room where everyone was seated already. Renee and Charlie were seated at the ends of the table while Rosalie and Alice were seated opposite each other. Peter and Charlotte walked in from behind us, and went to go sit down on Alice's side.

"No, I was saving that seat for Jas—" Peter's stare cut off her whining. That left the 2 seats on Rosalie's side. I walked ahead and sat down in the middle seat, right next to Rosalie, across from Peter. Jasper sat down next to me. There was an awkward silence.

"Well! This is fun, huh?" Renee said, smiling brightly. We all turned to stare blankly at her. She stood up.

"Well, I'll go get the food." She then walked out of the room, to the kitchen. There was another awkward silence before the parents all started talking. Rosalie turned to me.

"Hey, I'm Rose." She said, nodding her head a little. I turned to her.

"Yeah, I know." I said.

"So, I wanted to thank you for the entertainment you provided what with choking my brother and all." She said, snorting into her palm. I smirked at her.

"Hey, you're welcome. I'm just mad I didn't complete the job," I said to her amusement. She laughed some more before leaning in closer.

"So this situation totally sucks, huh?" She whispered. I nodded my head.

"You have no fucking idea." I agreed. Rose smiled at me.

"So what are you going to do?" She asked me, looking curious. I stared back at her,

"What do you mean?" I asked her.

"I mean, you don't strike me as the type to just sit back and let all of this happen, so what are you going to do to stop all of this?" Rose said, still whispering. I stared at her for a little while.

"I don't know yet… But whatever it is, you can bet your ass it's going to be big." I muttered, just as Renee walked in, carrying a big plate in her hands.

"Hey, if you need help, I'm in."

* * *

**HAPPY NEW YEARS!**

**-Katherine**


End file.
